Getting Low

Dear Lila,

Songs that were huge in the 2000s are apparently big again and kids these days are listening to Flo Rida's "Low." I danced to that song soooooo many times when I went clubbing in my 20s and oh, it is so weird to hear my 9- and 12-year-olds singing about "apple-bottom jeans!" 

Love,

Mom

You're Twelve Years Old!

Dear Lila,

I have been 5'2" for my entire adult life. You, who have just turned 12 years old, currently measure in at 5'5". I mark your and your siblings' height on your birthdays on a beam in our play attic and when I marked your height this year, I had to stand on a chair to reach the top of your head. That. Is. BANANAS.

Happy birthday, Lilabear! You are my big girl, both literally and figuratively. You are in 7th grade now and I know it can be a confusing stage--on the one hand, you are still a "little" kid who likes to play with toys; on the other; you are a "big" kid who can hang out with friends in Manhattan without any adult supervision. You still read Babysitters' Club books but are also studying novels like Animal Farm and 1984 in school. I cut your fruit for you but you can stay home alone and heat up your own meals. I won't let you watch certain violent movies but I talk candidly to you about racism, mental illness and other heavy subjects. You reminisce about your elementary school days while preparing for high school admissions by taking SHSAT classes every weekend.

Things are obviously changing for you, but you will always have one constant: me. I will always be here to give you love, support and (sometimes unwanted) advice, no matter what! And I hope you know that even when I am busy/exhausted/frustrated/all of the above by the craziness that is life,  you can always, ALWAYS come and talk to me about anything. I may judge, I may criticize, I may even get mad, depending on what it is, but I will listen.

I read a depressing statement that by the time your kid turns 12, you have already spent 75% of your time with them. You and I are at that soul-crushing benchmark and there are definitely lots of times when you and I barely spend time together, between my motherhood duties and your kidhood duties. But as tired as you are at the end of the day, you still initiate our nightly mantra and secret handshake and it means a lot to me that it still means a lot to you. And even if we don't get a whole lot of quality time during the day, at least we still have those short-but-sweet quiet moments together at bedtime.

I love you so much, Lilabear! I love that you are stepping out of your comfort zone to do things like join Model UN and the school volleyball team. I love that you still devour books. I love that your ELA teacher told me that you speak up a lot in class to offer your opinions and insights and to sometimes even debate a classmate on something you disagree on. I love that we can go shopping together for clothes, jewelry and perfume and that we even share the latter two. I love that you share my passion for eating and that you are always up for trying new restaurants with me. I love that we can go to things like the AJR concert and &Juliet on Broadway and have a blast singing and dancing together. I love that we can bond over a night of Korean face masks and nail painting. I love that you are still a kind soul, thoughtful person and hard worker. You are my child but you are also someone I admire and respect. I am so proud of you and love you so much, sweetheart! Happy birthday!

Love,

Mom

Grown-Up Goodies

Dear Lila,

You know you have a tween girl when the goody bags she receives at birthday parties are now filled with lip oil and Korean beauty masks instead of stickers and Play-Doh.

Love,

Mom

Hicksville

Dear Lila,

I was today years old when you asked me what a hickey is. 

Love,

Mom

My Thoughtful Dumpling

Dear Lila,

I decided to make dumplings for lunch today and there were exactly 15 dumplings left in the bag. I gave four dumplings each to you, DiDi and MuiMui. You came into the kitchen as I was spooning out my portion and as soon as you saw that I only got three dumplings while the rest of you received four, you asked me, "Do you want one of my dumplings?" I knew you would notice that I had less dumplings and I knew you would offer me one of your dumplings, but I was still very touched by your generosity. You are awesome. Period.

Love,

Mom

Sixth Grade Grad!

Dear Lila,

Your elementary school went up to 5th grade, so you had a 5th grade graduation. Your current school's elementary school goes up to 6th grade, though (with the high school going from 7th to 12th grade), so you also got a 6th grade graduation this year!

It was your typical graduation ceremony: speeches by the headmaster and faculty (who were all considerate enough to keep them short and sweet), a slideshow of school pictures (plus the cute addition of all the graduates' baby photos!), a musical performance by the students (you and your class played a few songs on your recorders and I love you but you guys were, um, not good) and the presentation of the diplomas. After each student received his/her diploma, the headmaster made sure to pose with the student so that the parents' could take a photo. When it was one classmate's turn, she said that her parents hadn't come and your art teacher, without missing a beat, jumped up and said, "I'll take a picture!" It was so kind and yet another example of the thoughtfulness I've witnessed amongst your teachers this year.

I'm so happy that you got into Garden and that you have really thrived this year. The small, close-knit community (there are only 17 kids in your grade!) is perfect for you and though you started the school year knowing no one, you now have a really great group of friends. The four of you made up silly nicknames for each other and often call each other after school. You told me that you feel closer to them than you had to any of your previous friends and that you can tell them anything. I love that you have found that for yourself!

I am really proud of how well you have done in school this year. You had a lot more work this year but you handled it well. ELA was your favorite class (duh) and your writing has improved so much. Your teacher told me that you regularly speak up in class and that sometimes you even got into debates with your classmates about particular topics, and that is so huge for you!

You also stuck with the honors math class when most of your fellow 6th graders dropped out within weeks. You spent the year working on 7th and 8th grade concepts and your math grade was not good at the end of the first quarter (B-), but you studied hard and your 4th quarter grade was an A, giving you a final A- for the class. And you said you even like math now!

I am also proud of how you continue to be so responsible. All year, you woke up in the mornings by yourself and were always ready by the time the bus arrived at 7am. You stayed on top of your schoolwork and tests. You helped out at home with housework and taking care of your siblings. You are AMAZING. And now you have the summer to relax! 

Love,

Mom

Shaking Things Up

Dear Lila,

Last night, you used the bathroom before your shower and called out, "Uhhhh, Mama?" You got your period! Many of your friends and classmates have had theirs for awhile and I've talked to you about it, so you knew what to expect (and dread) when it finally happened for you. We got a bigger reaction from MuiMui, who watched as I reminded you how to use a maxi pad: "Why is Lila bleeding? What?! Lila is wearing a diaper! Why is Lila wearing a diaper??" Hahaha! 

So if that wasn't enough excitement, we were all home this morning and at 10:23am, our house began to shake violently. At first, I thought you and MuiMui were just playing extra rambunctiously in the attic but after a few seconds, I realized that 1) you were both on the second floor and 2) the house was shaking a lot. It stopped after 20 seconds or so and after texting a few neighborhood friends to see if their houses had shook, too, I soon learned that it had been an earthquake! An earthquake! In New York! Wha??!! But it was a small one (4.8 magnitude), so small that not a single one of our picture frames even fell over. Apparently, there was an aftershock around 6pm and you kids felt it in the attic but Daddy and I were on the first floor and didn't even notice.

Huh. We returned from Paris on Wednesday, you got your first period on Thursday, we experienced an earthquake today and on Monday, we're going to have a total solar eclipse. Pretty eventful couple of days!

Love,

Mom