Bus Drama

Dear Lila,

We thought you being a camp bus monitor would be pretty straightforward and uneventful. We were wrong.

During the second week of camp, the regular bus driver was out one day and the substitute driver showed up with a handicapped bus, which only had three seats. There are about a dozen kids on your bus so three seats that each fit two kids = not enough seats. You texted this info to me and I told you to call the camp immediately, as making kids stand up while driving on the highway for an hour and a half = soooo not safe. The administrator at camp instructed the bus driver to wait at the next stop until the bus company could send a new bus that would accommodate all of the kids. In the end, it worked out. A mom at the next stop bought everyone Munchkins to snack on while you all waited for the replacement bus and you were only an hour late for camp that day. As an apology for the inconvenience, the camp even gave everyone on the bus a $100 credit and a coupon for a free camp T-shirt.

Then today, you noticed that one of the kids, a young 9-year-old boy, seemed really upset. You asked him what was wrong and he eventually told you what was bothering him: he said his archery teacher had told him to kill himself and then aimed the arrow at his heart. Um, what now? You have the same archery teacher and you said that didn't sound like her at all but the boy had made a pretty serious accusation, so you emailed the bus administrator and also messaged the boy's dad. The administrator said she would talk to the deans immediately. The dad talked to the boy and discovered that he had made the story up because he had broken a rule in class and the teacher had made him sit in time-out. You emailed the administrator about this and she thanked you for the update. The dad said he talked to his son about the fact that words have consequences. He also said you did the right thing.

Whew, that was more drama than expected and way above your pay grade! I'm proud of you for handling each situation gracefully. I'm also glad that you came to me for advice on how to deal with both issues. Please know that I will always be here for you and try to help if I can!

Love,

Mom

First Job

Dear Lila,

You got your first job! You are going to Usdan for camp this summer and they asked if you'd like to be a bus monitor. The duties are pretty straightforward: greet campers as they board the bus, set a good example while riding the bus, take attendance and submit it when you arrive at camp. You're going to get paid at the end of the session. Congrats on your first paying gig!

Love,

Mom

Getting Older and Hopefully Wiser

Dear Lila,

You are 13 years old and not at all thinking about aging (nor should you be) but when that day eventually comes, I want you to remember these points I recently read in an article:

-"Stop telling a woman 'You look younger' or 'You look good for your age.' It's not a compliment."

-"We look our age not because we've let ourselves go but because we've finally let ourselves be."

-"Aging is not ugly. Aging is powerful."

-"None of us knows our timeline and if we see each day of life as a gift, the more days we've lived, the better."

I am turning 45 this year. Some people lie about their age or are shy to admit it. I will never be one of those people. Aging is a privilege and when you one day in the (very distant) future start seeing more wrinkles and gray hairs in the mirror, I hope you will remember that. Don't chase youth. Chase happiness.

Love,

Mom

Mom Jokes

Dear Lila,

Every Monday is Mom Joke Monday, where I text you a joke after you get on the school bus. Here are a few of my favorites so far:

-I got fired on my first day working at the bank. A woman asked me to check her balance and I pushed her over.

-Why do teenagers hang out in groups of 3, 5, 7 and 9? Because they can't even.

-A wife texts her husband on a cold morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." The husband texts back, "Slowly pour warm water around the edges and then gently tap with a hammer." After 10 minutes, the wife texts back, "Computer really messed up now."

-A pregnant woman falls into a coma and wakes up three months later. When she awakens, the nurse tells her that she gave birth to two healthy babies, one girl and one boy, and that the woman's brother named them. The woman groans and says, "Oh no! My brother is an idiot! What did he name them?" The nurse says, "He named the girl Denise." The woman says, "Oh, that's not bad. What did he name the boy?" The nurse replies, "Denephew."

-A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk into a blood donation center. The nurse asks the rabbit, "What blood type are you?" and the rabbit replies, "I'm probably a Type O."

Love,

Mom

Young Adult

Dear Lila,

We hung out in Manhattan a few weekends ago and went to Barn Joo for lunch. When we were done, I asked the waitress for the check and she asked us, "Are you paying together?" She thought you were my friend and didn't realize that you are only 12!

People quite often mistake you for being much older than you are since you are so tall and look so mature! And I'm so short next to you, so it throws everyone off. But I know I'm going to blink and you actually will be old enough to pay for your own meals. This past summer, you took SHSAT prep classes in our neighborhood and we let you walk to and from them every day on your own, which is the first time we let you go out that far without an adult. Daddy and I gave you money and during your lunch breaks, you went out and bought your own lunches. Last month, you got your first real cell phone (an upgrade from the watch we had been using to contact and track you) and went to your dentist appointment on your own.

Then this past weekend, you babysat your siblings for the first time! When Daddy and I have gone out before, PoiPoi came over to watch all of you. This time, we went out to dinner in the neighborhood (so not too far) and entrusted you with getting you and your siblings dinner (we ordered a pizza before we left), taking care of whatever needed to be taken care of and getting DiDi and MuiMui to bed. MuiMui actually cried a few times because she missed me, so you called me and had me talk to her. Other than that, the night went smoothly and you did a great job. Adulting, here you come!

Love,

Mom

Name Game

Dear Lila,

When you started taking the bus to school in 6th grade, you and I noticed the same man jogging past our house every morning while you waited for the bus. He is a tall, slim Asian man who always wears the same gray shirt and shorts (pants during the winter) and he does a loop, which brings him past our house three times every morning. He has rarely missed a day and on a whim, I decided to name him Simon. So now whenever we see him through the window, we say, "Simon!" We have never actually spoken to him or even made eye contact as he runs past, but how funny would it be if his name was really Simon!

Over the years, we have bequeathed names onto other regular passers-by: the tall jogger who ties his long, curly brown hair in a ponytail and always wears the same purple tank, black shorts and black knee socks is Gustaf; the older woman who rides by on a bike with a white wicker basket is Janet; Sam and Pam are the couple who have four dogs (Sam always walks three of them while Pam always only walks the one--why we wonder?); the amusing older gentleman who wears black shades, a crisp button-down shirt and Bermuda shorts and literally dances and twirls down the street is who we call Giuseppe. Why does he dance? We don't know. Do we love that he dances? So much!

I love that we have this fun, weird game that only we know about! The only crazy part is that one time MuiMui and I saw Gustaf when we were out walking and MuiMui wanted to follow him to see where he lives. Um, no.

Love,

Mom

Unexpected Date Night

Dear Lila,

You, at noon today: I'm not jetlagged at all.

Also you, at 6pm today: [fast asleep and snoring in your bed]

So much for not being jetlagged, hahaha! The funny thing is that when I finished cooking dinner tonight at 7pm, I went upstairs to tell your siblings that dinner was ready only to find that ALL of you had fallen asleep! We did just get back from Paris late last night, though, so while funny, it was expected. Daddy came home from work and the two of us had a very quiet dinner with just the two of us, which hadn't happened since 2010!

Love,

Mom