Dear Lila,
Every Monday is Mom Joke Monday, where I text you a joke after you get on the school bus. Here are a few of my favorites so far:
-I got fired on my first day working at the bank. A woman asked me to check her balance and I pushed her over.
-Why do teenagers hang out in groups of 3, 5, 7 and 9? Because they can't even.
-A wife texts her husband on a cold morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." The husband texts back, "Slowly pour warm water around the edges and then gently tap with a hammer." After 10 minutes, the wife texts back, "Computer really messed up now."
-A pregnant woman falls into a coma and wakes up three months later. When she awakens, the nurse tells her she had two healthy babies, one girl and one boy, and that her brother named them. The woman groans and says, "Oh no! My brother is an idiot! What did he name them?" The nurse says, "He named the girl Denise." The woman says, "Oh, that's not bad. What did he name the boy?" The nurse replies, "Denephew."
-A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk into a blood donation center. The nurse asks the rabbit, "What blood type are you?" and the rabbit replies, "I'm probably a Type O."
Love,
Mom
