Taking Caution

Dear Lila,

I don't know if it's more of a gender thing or a personality difference, but you are sooo much more cautious than your big brother. As soon as he learned how to walk, Connor was practically racing around the house by the next day. You were more tentative after you took your first steps and it has taken you several months to become really confident when walking on your own. Connor has also loved riding in swings from the get-go, but I put you in a swing for the first time today and you were so scared. There was such a look of terror on your face that I immediately stopped the swing and took you out! And you get reeeeally nervous when you're standing on our backyard deck. There are small slits between the wood boards and there's no way you could fall through them, but I can tell that you don't believe that for a second. You insist on holding onto me when we're on the deck and if I let go of your hand, you don't move at all but hold your arms out at your sides, whimper a little and stare at the deck as if it could collapse at any moment.

I guess it's good that you're so careful, whereas GuhGaw often charges through life and throws all caution to the wind. Maybe that means I won't have to worry about you getting hurt as much as I have to with Connor!

Love,
Mom

First Nighttime Separation

Dear Lila,

Daddy's friend had a birthday party last night, so Daddy and I hired a babysitter to take care of you and GuhGaw while the two of us went out. It was the first time we had left you with another person at night and it went as well as you'd expect--you became really upset when it was time to go to bed and we weren't there, so you wailed and cried for half an hour before passing out from exhaustion on the couch (your brother, amazingly, was able to fall asleep despite your crying). You were still asleep on the couch when we came home, because the babysitter was scared to move you to your crib and risk waking you up.

:-(

Love,
Mom

Mommy Will Make It Better

Dear Lila,

It's the worst feeling in the world when your kid is crying. And it's the best feeling in the world when you're the one who can get your kid to stop crying just by holding her.

Love,
Mom

P.S. Thank you for a wonderful Mother's Day!

Rockabye Baby

Dear Lila,

At the end of especially trying days, I am usually so tired that I get annoyed when I have to spend an hour-plus rocking you to sleep at night. But then I have to remind myself to treasure our nighttime cuddles because soon enough, you will be too big to rock to sleep.

Love,
Mom

Life With Two Kids

Dear Lila,

When Daddy and I decided to have children, we always knew that we would have at least two. We both have siblings and life is so much better when you have that built-in friend for life. I know Uncle Tony and I fought a lot when we were growing up but I don't really remember the fights now so much as the board games we played together (Trouble, Guess Who?, Operation), the elaborate story lines we made up for our Barbies and Ninja Turtles and the hours we spent in our backyard swinging on the swing set or facing off in baseball or badminton. I love having a brother who has the same childhood memories that I have and who shares the exclusive knowledge of just how crazy our parents are. So I'm glad you will have the same thing with your brother.

A family with two kids is great for the kids. If the parents are busy, there's always someone else to play with and talk to. But a family with two kids is not always great for the parents because it can be hard juggling two kids. At least, it has been for me, especially since Daddy often works so late and I'm on my own with you and GuhGaw most of the time. There was one night when I had fed you both dinner, brushed your teeth, bathed you and dressed you in your pajamas by 7:30pm. I was just silently congratulating myself for getting you guys ready for bed ahead of schedule when you suddenly threw up, Connor stepped in your vomit and I had to shower you both a second time. So much for going to bed early.

Another time when I was getting you two ready for bed, I opened your brother's top dresser drawer to get him a pair of pjs. You, again, suddenly threw up and when I turned to tend to you, GuhGaw jumped up, banged his head on the bottom of the drawer I had left open and started crying. I turned to soothe him and when I did this, you fell backward, hit your head on the floor and started crying, too. It was all I could do to not start crying myself. Oh. my. GOD.

Then there are our trips to the parks and playgrounds. Sometimes you toddle in one direction while your brother runs in the opposite direction, or I'll be helping you walk up the stairs to the slide and your brother will go behind the bathroom or a climbing structure where I can't see him. Playground time means fun time for you guys but Mommy equates it with seriously-stressed-out-how-do-I-keep-an-eye-on-both-of-you? time. *oof*

So yeah, life with two kids has been challenging. But at the same time, it's been fun, heartwarming and rewarding, too. I love seeing how much you and GuhGaw love each other. One time, you were tentatively walking across the living room. Connor held his arms out and told you to walk over to him, you did, fell into his arms and then you guys tightly hugged each other. Another time, you and him were sitting in bed together and he was "reading" his Cars book to you, saying "Once upon a time, there were a lot of cars." Once when you were crying, I heard GuhGaw tell you, "There are no scary monsters. Mommy is right there." The other day, you got mad and kicked the table, so Connor reprimanded you and put you in timeout. After a few minutes, he pulled you out and said, "You know I still love you, all right?"

And of course, having two kids means I feel two times the amount of love. I feel like the luckiest person in the world when both of you crawl into my lap, smile up at me and hug me tightly :)

Love,
Mom