Today was Uncle Tony's memorial. I wasn't sure if I should bring you since you're so young and it was obviously going to be really sad but in the end, I decided that I wanted you to see how we honored him and his life. I asked you if you would like to go and you asked me, "Is it going to be boring? Are there going to be toys?" I said there wouldn't be toys but that there would be food. You immediately perked up and said, "I'll go for the food." You and your love of food!
The memorial was heartbreaking as expected but it was comforting for me to be with the friends and family who knew and love Uncle Tony. I liked hearing stories about him and how he made such a positive impact on so many people's lives. One of Uncle Tony's friends spoke about how there are two kinds of people: those who leave good footprints on your heart and those who leave bad footprints. He said that Uncle Tony definitely left good footprints and that no one ever had anything bad to say about Uncle Tony. Another friend talked about the fun road trips they took to New York. One friend even called in all the way from Australia to share her loving words and memories about your uncle.
Here is what I managed to say through my tears:
Hi everyone. My parents and I want to start off by saying thank you to all of you for coming here today to remember Tony and celebrate his life. The past few months have been unbearable but the things that have gotten us through them have been meeting Tony's friends, hearing your stories, seeing your photos and reading all of your Facebook posts about him. You have helped keep him alive through your memories and it has been comforting and truly beautiful to realize how much Tony was and always will be loved.
In one of my favorite photos, Tony is wearing a T-shirt that says, "What? I can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness!" I laugh every time I see that shirt because it's funny and because it's true. Who is cooler than Tony? He would call up his friends at 2 am and take them on spontaneous road trips to New York. He had a stand-up comedy act. He was a stylish dresser and showed up everywhere in a suit and tie (and for those of you who ever wondered--yes, he DID own sweatpants and even wore them occasionally). He piloted a small plane once and managed not to crash it. He did crash his car a lot but stayed out of trouble with my parents by always blaming it on a "deer." And he started Smokescreen Magazine, where it was his actual job to find and hang out with pretty girls every day. #everyguy'sdreamjob
There were no bounds to Tony's awesomeness. He was funny and outgoing and always up for an adventure. He spoke what was on his mind and was never afraid to be himself. He was a genuine and caring person who put everyone before himself. And he was the strongest person I know. Throughout his whole battle, I never once saw him complain, cry or let on that he was scared. Tony stayed positive and made jokes through to the very end and that kind of awesomeness is a gift to everyone who was lucky enough to witness it.
I love you, Tony, and miss you so much every day.
********
One of Uncle Tony's friend made a nice slideshow to play during the memorial and he printed a magazine filled with photos and memories of Uncle Tony. That friend and his fiancee also put together an amazing cookie table, which included sugar cookies decorated with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Uncle Tony would have liked all of it. You met one of Uncle Tony's friend's daughter, who is only 5 years old but bravely stood in front of everyone and spoke about how much she loves Uncle Tony and will miss playing with him. The two of you had fun playing and coloring together. And yes, you did enjoy all of the food!
I know today must have been sad and also a little confusing for you, but I hope you could see that while he lived a short life, Uncle Tony had a good one filled with so many people who cared and will always care about him.
Love,
Mom
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