Badge of Honor

Dear Lila,

I received this email from the head of the upper school today:

*****

Dear Parents and Guardians,

Congratulations! We are pleased to share that your child has been selected for induction into the National Junior Honor Society at Garden School.

This recognition reflects not only strong academic achievement, but also the character, leadership, service, and commitment your child has demonstrated within our community. Admission into NJHS is a meaningful accomplishment, and we are proud to celebrate these students and all they contribute to Garden each day.

*****

Congratulations, Lilabear! I am so proud of you and all of your hard work!

Love,

Mom

Leggo My Eggo

Dear Lila,

Our fridge stopped working way back in October and we had to use three mini fridges in the meantime until a repair person could come and diagnose the problem/order the new part/receive the new part/come back to the house only to learn that it wasn't the right part/order the correct new part/find a new time to come replace the part/blah blah blah (do all appliance repairs have to be so lengthy and complicated???). While it was great that we at least had mini fridges to use, they were in fact mini and organizing all of the food that is usually needed for our family of six was a daily game of Tetris. We had to pack everything in just so and honestly, sometimes I wanted hummus, but I decided against it because removing the 10 items in front of the hummus, getting the hummus, and then putting those 10 items back was simply not worth it just for hummus.

The freezer compartment in the mini fridge was also the size of a shoebox so we only kept the essentials on hand in there: frozen fruit and vegetables. That meant no ice cream, no popsicles, no frozen waffles. You guys are fortunate enough to have a mother who bakes pumpkin bread, blueberry muffins and other delicious from-scratch things for breakfast but I guess sometimes kids just want a processed, factory-made frozen hockey puck of a breakfast pastry; after the repair person finally fixed our fridge this week, Daddy bought a box of Eggo frozen waffles and you and your siblings were legit so excited to have them for breakfast. Excuse me while I go cry in the bathroom.

Love,

Mom

Future Wolverine

Dear Lila,

Well, today was the day. Your life revolved around the SHSAT for so many months and the results finally came out this afternoon. We promised to check the results together so OF COURSE today was a day that you had to stay late at school for clubs and Daddy had to stay late at work. Once the results were emailed at 3pm, I saw parents on the SHSAT Facebook groups immediately discussing them and the fact that I could physically log in to your account to check whether you got in yet morally could not nearly KILLED ME. Oh my god, the suspense!

Eventually, you and Daddy both came home, you signed into your account and . . . you got into Bronx Science!!! Daddy went there and GuhGaw goes there and now we will be sending a third Chan there! Getting into Bronx Science is a huge accomplishment and I am so proud of you! However, your immediate reaction was sadly not one of excitement because you really had your heart set on going to Stuyvesant. You really thought you were going to get in and the worst part is that you actually only missed the cutoff to Stuy by several points.

Oh my sweet girl, I hated seeing how disappointed you were. You worked and hoped so hard for Stuy and I know how crushed you must feel. I hugged and comforted you for awhile and you also talked to your friends. By the end of the night, you said you felt better, though I'm not sure if you were just saying that. I know the pain will feel sharp for a little bit but once it wears off, I hope you can truly be happy and proud of yourself for getting into one of the top schools in the city. It's not your first choice but it's still an excellent school and many kids have thrived there. I hope you will be one of them.

Love,

Mom

You're Thirteen Years Old!

Dear Lila,

This past semester, you spent countless hours attending SHSAT prep classes, working on assignments and taking practice tests to prepare for the notoriously difficult exam. You also submitted applications to TWENTY-TWO public and Catholic high schools (in comparison, I only applied to a total of six colleges). On top of all that, you still had, you know, actual school, but you didn't let anything slip: You completed all of your assignments on time, scored either 100% or very close to 100% on all of your tests and earned straight A's on your report card. And if that wasn't enough, you also played on the school volleyball team, took part in an AI programming class every Sunday and were a member of the Model UN, Diversity AND Key clubs.

Whew! I got tired just typing all of that but you, my amazing girl, successfully kept all of those many plates spinning without dropping a single one. I am in complete awe of you! You work so hard, never back down from challenges and always push yourself to do your best. You were under a lot of pressure these past few months, and I know some tears were shed and nerves were shot, but you handled all of it with such grace and maturity.

You asked me a few weeks ago if I'd be disappointed if you didn't get into an SHS. Of course, I'd be disappointed--you are amazing and deserve a spot at one of the best high schools in the city. But I wouldn't be disappointed in you. I couldn't be disappointed in you. You are so smart and perceptive and you have so much drive and determination. I know you will accomplish great things no matter which school you attend.

I am incredibly proud that you are my daughter. Not only are you one of the most hardworking people I know, you are genuinely kind, respectful and helpful. You are so sweet to everyone, considerate of others' feelings and even with your massive to-do list, you still help me so much with household chores and taking care of your siblings.

I can't believe you are officially a teenager today. I miss your baby years, the days when you could fit in my lap and when you were still short enough for me to see the top of your head, haha! When I hug you now, I literally have to stand on my toes! However, I do truly love this new stage where you and I can (and often do) stay up late talking and laughing for hours. You have a lot of interesting insights and we share a similar sarcastic sense of humor, so talking to you is a lot of fun. I love that you and I also share a lot of the same interests--books, shopping for clothes and perfume, Korean skincare, going on food crawls, playing Taboo--and that we bond over those. You are no longer my baby girl but you are now my daughter who is also my friend and I am so grateful for you. Happy 13th birthday, Lilabear! I love you so very much!

Love,

Mom

Mom Jokes

Dear Lila,

Every Monday is Mom Joke Monday, where I text you a joke after you get on the school bus. Here are a few of my favorites so far:

-I got fired on my first day working at the bank. A woman asked me to check her balance and I pushed her over.

-Why do teenagers hang out in groups of 3, 5, 7 and 9? Because they can't even.

-A wife texts her husband on a cold morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." The husband texts back, "Slowly pour warm water around the edges and then gently tap with a hammer." After 10 minutes, the wife texts back, "Computer really messed up now."

-A pregnant woman falls into a coma and wakes up three months later. When she awakens, the nurse tells her that she gave birth to two healthy babies, one girl and one boy, and that the woman's brother named them. The woman groans and says, "Oh no! My brother is an idiot! What did he name them?" The nurse says, "He named the girl Denise." The woman says, "Oh, that's not bad. What did he name the boy?" The nurse replies, "Denephew."

-A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk into a blood donation center. The nurse asks the rabbit, "What blood type are you?" and the rabbit replies, "I'm probably a Type O."

Love,

Mom

Young Adult

Dear Lila,

We hung out in Manhattan a few weekends ago and went to Barn Joo for lunch. When we were done, I asked the waitress for the check and she asked us, "Are you paying together?" She thought you were my friend and didn't realize that you are only 12!

People quite often mistake you for being much older than you are since you are so tall and look so mature! And I'm so short next to you, so it throws everyone off. But I know I'm going to blink and you actually will be old enough to pay for your own meals. This past summer, you took SHSAT prep classes in our neighborhood and we let you walk to and from them every day on your own, which is the first time we let you go out that far without an adult. Daddy and I gave you money and during your lunch breaks, you went out and bought your own lunches. Last month, you got your first real cell phone (an upgrade from the watch we had been using to contact and track you) and went to your dentist appointment on your own.

Then this past weekend, you babysat your siblings for the first time! When Daddy and I have gone out before, PoiPoi came over to watch all of you. This time, we went out to dinner in the neighborhood (so not too far) and entrusted you with getting you and your siblings dinner (we ordered a pizza before we left), taking care of whatever needed to be taken care of and getting DiDi and MuiMui to bed. MuiMui actually cried a few times because she missed me, so you called me and had me talk to her. Other than that, the night went smoothly and you did a great job. Adulting, here you come!

Love,

Mom

Name Game

Dear Lila,

When you started taking the bus to school in 6th grade, you and I noticed the same man jogging past our house every morning while you waited for the bus. He is a tall, slim Asian man who always wears the same gray shirt and shorts (pants during the winter) and he does a loop, which brings him past our house three times every morning. He has rarely missed a day and on a whim, I decided to name him Simon. So now whenever we see him through the window, we say, "Simon!" We have never actually spoken to him or even made eye contact as he runs past, but how funny would it be if his name was really Simon!

Over the years, we have bequeathed names onto other regular passers-by: the tall jogger who ties his long, curly brown hair in a ponytail and always wears the same purple tank, black shorts and black knee socks is Gustaf; the older woman who rides by on a bike with a white wicker basket is Janet; Sam and Pam are the couple who have four dogs (Sam always walks three of them while Pam always only walks the one--why we wonder?); the amusing older gentleman who wears black shades, a crisp button-down shirt and Bermuda shorts and literally dances and twirls down the street is who we call Giuseppe. Why does he dance? We don't know. Do we love that he dances? So much!

I love that we have this fun, weird game that only we know about! The only crazy part is that one time MuiMui and I saw Gustaf when we were out walking and MuiMui wanted to follow him to see where he lives. Um, no.

Love,

Mom