The Graduate

Dear Lila,

Your elementary school graduation was today and I wasn't expecting to cry, but when I saw you walk into the auditorium to the tune of "Pomp and Circumstance," I got so emotional and the tears just began to fall. You've had graduations before, for pre-k and kindergarten, but today was your first real graduation. You are moving on from the first chapter of your school career and in September, you will be at a completely new school with completely new teachers and completely new classmates. The reality of all that hit me as I watched you take your place on stage!

When something ends, most people reflect on how it began and I still clearly remember your first day of nursery school. You were so brave and walked out of the gym and to the classroom with your teacher without the slightest bit of fuss. If you were scared, you definitely didn't show it. And when I picked you up a couple hours later, you were happy and smiling! Back then, though, you were very very very shy and I am so proud of how you have overcome your shyness over the years. You will never be the kid who volunteers to sing a solo in front of a large crowd but you also no longer shrink away (physically and emotionally) when facing new people or experiences. When both of your closest friends since the first grade moved away after fourth grade, I was so nervous that you'd be all by yourself during the last year of elementary school, but you connected with a couple of the other girls in your class and have become close friends with them. You don't know anyone at your new middle school, but now that you are a little more outgoing, I'm sure you will immediately make new friends there, too.

I am so proud of you, Lilabear! Happy graduation day!!

Love,

Mom

Questions & Answers

Dear Lila,

I asked you some questions for fun and here are your answers:

How old am I? 42.

What is my favorite color? Purple.

What is my job? Mama.

What do I cook the best? Mushroom pasta.

What do you like to do with me? Everything.

Why do you love me? Because you're special.

What is something I say a lot? Clean up your room.
What makes me happy? Us not fighting.
What makes me sad? GuhGaw.
How tall am I? You're shorter than me.

What am I really good at? Baking.
What is my favorite thing to do? Watch TV in peace.
What is my favorite food? Fish tacos.
What is my favorite drink? Water, because you drink so much of it.
If I could go anywhere, where would I go? Japan.
How do I annoy you? You make me do things I don't want to do, like go to Mathnasium.
What is my favorite TV show? Cooking shows.
What is my favorite music to listen to? Pop.
How much do you love me? A lot.

Love,

Mom

Gracious Girl

Dear Lila,

As you get older, I worry about the world of "mean girls" that you will inevitably encounter. People can be so cruel and I worry about how someone as sweet, kind and soft-spoken as you would handle them. Sadly, you have already experienced some mean-girl behavior in 5th grade this year, and from a girl who was supposedly one of your best friends since the 1st grade no less. She started saying rude things to you and icing you out and she has done the same to several of the other girls in your class, so she has actually become a bit of the class pariah. But instead of saying rude things back to her and icing her out, you told me that when you see her sitting by herself in class or at lunch, you wave to her and gesture for her to join you. She doesn't but, Lila, I am immensely proud of you for being so gracious. Bestowing kindness on someone who has wronged you many times in the past takes an incredible amount of strength and you do it without even thinking about it. You are amazing. On this Mother's Day, I am so grateful that you are my daughter.

Love,

Mom

Egg-stra Special Girl

Dear Lila,

Yesterday, I set up an Easter egg hunt in the yard for you, DiDi and MuiMui. When I said "go," you and DiDi raced ahead and gathered eggs quickly but then I noticed that you were throwing your eggs on the ground. When I asked you about it afterward, you confirmed what I had suspected: After you found eggs, you threw them down so that MuiMui--who was obviously much slower--could find them. I love you so much for always being so kind and thoughtful! Your siblings (and I!) are so lucky to have you!

Love,

Mom

Garden Path

Dear Lila,

When researching middle schools for you, I came across one called Garden School that sounded really good. We went to an information session and toured the school and came away thinking that it would be a great environment for you, so we started the application process last October. Daddy and I assumed we would just have to fill out an application with your basic info (name, date of birth, previous schools, etc.) and pay a deposit. But oh no, it is not that easy to get into Garden! As a prospective student, you were required to write four essays, interview with the admissions director, get letter of recommendations from your principal and two teachers AND take a merit exam. And as the parent of a prospective student, I had to write three essays myself! You worked so hard for months, writing and rewriting the essays (you even wrote an optional fifth essay on top of the mandatory four!), practicing for the interview and studying for the merit exam. Whenever you had free time, you worked on your essays and rehearsed your answers for three dozen possible interview questions that you might have to answer. You spent so much time on your Garden application that MuiMui often copied you, typing on a pretend laptop and telling us, "I working on my Garden School essay" or holding a piece of paper (like the one you had printed out interview questions and answers on) and saying to herself, "I want to go to Garden School because I want to go to Garden School." (Btw, that was not your rehearsed response to the question "Why do you want to attend Garden School?" but I don't think MuiMui could remember the actual one!")

We submitted your application in December and anxiously waited for today, when admissions decisions were announced. We were told decisions would be posted in the afternoon and it was the. Longest. Day. Ever. You told me that when you got off the bus today, you ran home as fast as you could and indeed, you burst through the door and asked me all out-of-breath, "Did I get in???" At that point, I hadn't heard anything yet. But at 4pm, I received an email with the subject line "Garden School Admissions Decision" and when I opened it, it said:

Dear Chan Family,

Good afternoon. I wanted to let you know that we are thrilled to offer admission to Lila for our Sixth Grade Program as a Merit Scholar!

OMG OMG OMG OMGEEEEEE!!!!!! You got in!!!!!! And you got a scholarship!!!!! I was so so so happy and excited for you but I had to play it cool because I wanted to wait until Daddy came home so that we could tell you the good news together! I told him to pick up flowers and your favorite sushi and earlier that day, MuiMui and I had cut up blue and white construction paper to make confetti in the Garden School colors.

After Daddy came home, we told you to sit on the couch and handed you a printout of your acceptance letter. We watched you read the letter--and then jump up exuberantly when you read that you had been accepted!!! Daddy threw the confetti (along with the small tin bucket it had been in, oops) and we started chanting, "Lila! Lila! Lila!" Your siblings were so excited for you and MuiMui was literally rolling around the floor in the confetti and shouting "Yay yay yay yay!"

You were so happy that you actually started crying! I am so proud of you, Lilabear! You worked so hard and you deserve this! I am so thrilled for your future at Garden!

Love,

Mom

Stepping Up Soon

Dear Lila,

Your parent coordinator just sent an email this morning about your upcoming 5th grade graduation and I actually started crying while reading about the details! My little girl is graduating from elementary school! Already!

Love,

Mom

Daily Rituals

Dear Lila,

I woke up at 5am this morning to bake homemade cinnamon rolls for your breakfast (anything for my kids!) so by the time 9pm rolled around, I was more than ready to go to bed. You were studying for your math test and wanted to stay up a little longer to finish your practice questions (always the dedicated student!). I told you to keep studying and that I was going to bed but you jumped up and rushed to the bathroom to wash your hands (since you'd been touching your school book) so that you could hug me goodnight. I love that hugging me goodnight still means a lot to you--and we still do our "heart" goodbye every morning when you go to school and our secret handshake every night when you go to bed. Our little rituals mean a lot to me, too. I love you so much!

Love,

Mom