Name Game

Dear Lila,

When you started taking the bus to school in 6th grade, you and I noticed the same man jogging past our house every morning while you waited for the bus. He is a tall, slim Asian man who always wears the same gray shirt and shorts (pants during the winter) and he does a loop, which brings him past our house three times every morning. He has rarely missed a day and on a whim, I decided to name him Simon. So now whenever we see him through the window, we say, "Simon!" We have never actually spoken to him or even made eye contact as he runs past, but how funny would it be if his name was really Simon!

Over the years, we have bequeathed names onto other regular passers-by: the tall jogger who ties his long, curly brown hair in a ponytail and always wears the same purple tank, black shorts and black knee socks is Gustaf; the older woman who rides by on a bike with a white wicker basket is Janet; Sam and Pam are the couple who have four dogs (Sam always walks three of them while Pam always only walks the one--why we wonder?); the amusing older gentleman who wears black shades, a crisp button-down shirt and Bermuda shorts and literally dances and twirls down the street is who we call Giuseppe. Why does he dance? We don't know. Do we love that he dances? So much!

I love that we have this fun, weird game that only we know about! The only crazy part is that one time MuiMui and I saw Gustaf when we were out walking and MuiMui wanted to follow him to see where he lives. Um, no.

Love,

Mom

Unexpected Date Night

Dear Lila,

You, at noon today: I'm not jetlagged at all.

Also you, at 6pm today: [fast asleep and snoring in your bed]

So much for not being jetlagged, hahaha! The funny thing is that when I finished cooking dinner tonight at 7pm, I went upstairs to tell your siblings that dinner was ready only to find that ALL of you had fallen asleep! We did just get back from Paris late last night, though, so while funny, it was expected. Daddy came home from work and the two of us had a very quiet dinner with just the two of us, which hadn't happened since 2010!

Love,

Mom

X Marks the Spot

Dear Lila,

We don't watch a lot of TV together as a family because a) I'd prefer we do something else (read, play a board game, hang out in the play attic) and b) we are all very different people in different age groups wth different interests (ex: I love DiDi but I have zero interest in watching a dinosaur documentary with him; meanwhile, I could spend hours watching travel videos on YouTube but those bore all of you).

However, we discovered a rare gem this summer that we all wanted to watch called Destination X. It was a reality competition series on NBC where contestants were blindfolded and taken to various European cities--they had to play games, collect clues and figure out which city they were in. A contestant was eliminated each week and the show had a little bit of everything: beautiful shots of charming European towns, humor, suspense, unexpected twists, double crossings, a cute (to me) host (Jeffrey Dean Morgan!) and even romance (kind of--two of the contestants started dating but we learned that they broke up shortly after the show ended, sad). You, me, DiDi and MuiMui got soooo into Destination X--we enjoyed every episode, had fun trying to figure out the city before they revealed it and couldn't wait for each new episode. When we watched the finale, the twists and final reveal of the winner were so good, we were literally bouncing on the couch and screaming!

It was really fun watching the show all together! Each episode was so good and after we watched it, we'd discuss everything that happened. I'm sad that it's over now and the four of us don't have a show to bond over each week. I hope they renew it for a second season!

Love,

Mom

Sad Smiles

Dear Lila,

I don't know what it says about you, but you have this involuntary reaction where you smile at sad things. Like, someone might tell you that her cat died and even if you found that incredibly tragic, you would smile. Please work on that before it gets you into trouble, haha!

Love,

Mom

Getting Low

Dear Lila,

Songs that were huge in the 2000s are apparently big again and kids these days are listening to Flo Rida's "Low." I danced to that song soooooo many times when I went clubbing in my 20s and oh, it is so weird to hear my 9- and 12-year-olds singing about "apple-bottom jeans!" 

Love,

Mom

You're Twelve Years Old!

Dear Lila,

I have been 5'2" for my entire adult life. You, who have just turned 12 years old, currently measure in at 5'5". I mark your and your siblings' height on your birthdays on a beam in our play attic and when I marked your height this year, I had to stand on a chair to reach the top of your head. That. Is. BANANAS.

Happy birthday, Lilabear! You are my big girl, both literally and figuratively. You are in 7th grade now and I know it can be a confusing stage--on the one hand, you are still a "little" kid who likes to play with toys; on the other; you are a "big" kid who can hang out with friends in Manhattan without any adult supervision. You still read Babysitters' Club books but are also studying novels like Animal Farm and 1984 in school. I cut your fruit for you but you can stay home alone and heat up your own meals. I won't let you watch certain violent movies but I talk candidly to you about racism, mental illness and other heavy subjects. You reminisce about your elementary school days while preparing for high school admissions by taking SHSAT classes every weekend.

Things are obviously changing for you, but you will always have one constant: me. I will always be here to give you love, support and (sometimes unwanted) advice, no matter what! And I hope you know that even when I am busy/exhausted/frustrated/all of the above by the craziness that is life,  you can always, ALWAYS come and talk to me about anything. I may judge, I may criticize, I may even get mad, depending on what it is, but I will listen.

I read a depressing statement that by the time your kid turns 12, you have already spent 75% of your time with them. You and I are at that soul-crushing benchmark and there are definitely lots of times when you and I barely spend time together, between my motherhood duties and your kidhood duties. But as tired as you are at the end of the day, you still initiate our nightly mantra and secret handshake and it means a lot to me that it still means a lot to you. And even if we don't get a whole lot of quality time during the day, at least we still have those short-but-sweet quiet moments together at bedtime.

I love you so much, Lilabear! I love that you are stepping out of your comfort zone to do things like join Model UN and the school volleyball team. I love that you still devour books. I love that your ELA teacher told me that you speak up a lot in class to offer your opinions and insights and to sometimes even debate a classmate on something you disagree on. I love that we can go shopping together for clothes, jewelry and perfume and that we even share the latter two. I love that you share my passion for eating and that you are always up for trying new restaurants with me. I love that we can go to things like the AJR concert and &Juliet on Broadway and have a blast singing and dancing together. I love that we can bond over a night of Korean face masks and nail painting. I love that you are still a kind soul, thoughtful person and hard worker. You are my child but you are also someone I admire and respect. I am so proud of you and love you so much, sweetheart! Happy birthday!

Love,

Mom

Grown-Up Goodies

Dear Lila,

You know you have a tween girl when the goody bags she receives at birthday parties are now filled with lip oil and Korean beauty masks instead of stickers and Play-Doh.

Love,

Mom