Your Strengths

Dear Lila,

As I mentioned in the previous blog entry, I had to write an essay about your strengths for one of your middle school applications. Below is that essay.

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Share with us what you believe to be your child’s special strengths, relative weaknesses, talents, extracurricular interests, etc. Take as much space as you like. We appreciate parental anecdotes and insights.

I still remember my parent-teacher conference with Lila’s first grade teacher. Her teacher said, "Lila is hard-working, kind, helpful, sensitive–all of the positive words I tell my kids to be, she is." I couldn't agree more: Lila embodies so many positive qualities!

One of Lila's strengths is her determination. When she was two, she was trying to unbuckle a stubborn buckle on her bag and squeezing it so hard that her body was shaking. I offered to help but she insisted on doing it herself, which she eventually did. Her resolve impressed me then and it has continued to impress me to this day. When I took Lila on a challenging bike trail last summer, she never complained about how hard it was but clenched her teeth, leaned forward and pedaled up every steep hill we encountered. When her class had a "Wax Museum" project, Lila had to recite her speech about Ruth Bader Ginsberg. She is shy and uncomfortable with public speaking but she rehearsed her speech dozens of times and recited it perfectly on the day of the presentation. As a student in the Gifted & Talented program since first grade, Lila applies that same dedication to all of her studies. She finds math challenging but asks for help, studies her notes and completes practice questions on Khan Academy until she understands the topic. As such, Lila currently has a 90 average in math and her teacher says she has very strong math skills.

Lila is also very responsible, so much so that my husband and I have nicknamed her "Second Mama." We have four kids and caring for so many children is a tough job but Lila makes that job infinitely easier. As the second oldest, she is always ready to help with whatever is needed, whether that is washing dishes or watching her baby sister while I cook. Lila knows what needs to be done and does it without me having to ask. I never have to remind her to clean her room or study for a test because she just does it. Similarly, Lila’s teachers always praise her for her responsible nature and maturity. She completes homework thoroughly and promptly and turns in optional assignments as well. When she had remote schooling during the pandemic, she woke up earlier than she had to and made sure to be on time for every Zoom call.

Another one of Lila's strengths is her selflessness. Once, I gave Lila and her brother each a cookie. Lila's brother dropped his cookie on the ground and without hesitation, Lila gave him hers. When Lila returned to in-person schooling last year and only one child at each table could remove his/her mask and eat lunch at a time, Lila scarfed down her food as fast as she could and often didn't even finish it so that the next child wouldn't have to wait too long to eat. When we went to an arcade this past summer, our kids were deciding how to spend the tickets they had won. Lila only took enough tickets to buy herself one tiny toy unicorn; she let her brothers have the rest of the tickets so that they could buy multiple toy army men. She is always thinking of others.

Lila has many interests. She loves art, music, swimming and baking. One of her favorite classes is Culture because she likes learning about different countries. Lila’s main passion, though, is reading. Lila has been a voracious reader ever since she could pick up her first board book and whenever she has free time, her nose is almost always buried in a book. She never wants toys for Christmas, just new books! In kindergarten, Lila even inspired her classmates to read more. Her teacher said that when the students arrived in the morning, the other children played while Lila went straight to the book corner and plopped down on a cushion with a book. Over time, more classmates followed her lead and started reading after they’d hung up their backpacks. Eventually, her teacher instituted an official "Morning Reading Time" where everyone in the class read quietly after arriving at school--all because of Lila!

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As you can see from what I wrote, I think you are amazing!

Love,

Mom

You're Ten Years Old!

Dear Lila,

You have loved unicorns for years, which is fitting, because YOU are a unicorn! You are more thoughtful, patient, understanding, responsible and conscientious than most adults I know and you are truly an incredible person. I am so proud to be your mom--and I can't believe I have already been your mom for an entire decade! Happy 10th birthday, Lilabear!

This fall, we had to submit your middle school applications (!) and for one school, I had to write an essay about your strengths and special talents. The essay had to be a minimum of 500 words but my first draft was more than 1,200 words--that's how many good things I had to say about you! And I could have gone on for a few more thousand words--I mean, how many words are in this entire Letters to Lila blog so far? :-) I talked about your dedication, helpfulness and selflessness. I also wrote about one of your most defining features: your love of reading! It is still your absolute favorite thing to do and whenever you have free time at home, your nose is almost always in a book. You have read every single kid book in the house a dozen times and have even read some of my books: Confessions of a Shopaholic, Life of Pi, A Man Called Ove, Julie & Julia, The House of Spirits, Where'd You Go, Bernadette?, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine (btw, I haven't even read the latter three yet!). You told me that if you have to pick between going out and staying in, you will always pick staying in because all of your books are at home. However, I guess the exception is if we go out to get to more books. When I asked you where you want to go on your actual birthday this year, you chose the library! I floated the idea of going to American Dream Mall to play mini golf and shop but when I suggested visiting the main branch of the New York Public Library in Manhattan, your eyes lit up and you got so excited! (It's actually suuuuuuper cold today on your birthday--just 23 degrees--but it's going to go up to 45 degrees on Thursday, so we will go then!) I love that you prefer reading over shopping; I'm not sure how many 10-year-old girls do!

I don't know why I didn't blog about this story at the time, but when you were just a 4-year-old in pre-k, you inspired your classmates to read more! Your teacher told me that when the students arrived at the beginning of the school day, the other children played with the classroom toys while you went straight to the book corner and plopped down on a cushion with a book every day. Over time, more classmates followed your lead and started reading after they had hung up their jackets and backpacks. Eventually, your teacher instituted an official "Morning Reading Time" where everyone in the class read quietly for 10 minutes after arriving at school--all because of you! After you graduated from pre-k, your teacher always reminded me of this story whenever she saw me and told me that she continued Morning Reading Time every year!

When I ran into that same teacher a couple years ago while I was out shopping (she retired during the pandemic but still lives in the neighborhood), she told me something about you that she hadn't told me before. She said that you were one of the most empathetic students she's ever had. If another classmate was crying about something, many of the other kids would continue with whatever they were doing but you always went over to the upset child and patted him/her on the back and tried to comfort him/her. Even at such a young age, you were already so kind and thoughtful--and you continue to be so to this day. At home, you are quick to assist me (and without complaint) when I need you to and often ask me if I need help with anything. You help DiDi with his homework and play with MuiMui when I'm busy. You get your siblings breakfast in the mornings and read to them at night. If they are doing something less than ideal (i.e. DiDi asks for a third helping of dinner when I haven't even had a bite of my first or MuiMui keeps insisting on sitting on my lap when I need a little space after a chaotic day), you intervene so that I don't have to deal with it. If we have all shared a dessert and there is only one more piece left, you always ask everyone if they want it before you take it, even if I've already told you to finish it. You always consider other people's feelings and needs and I admire you so much for that.

Time and age are such strange constructs. On the one hand, I feel as if you were just a baby and can't believe that you are already 10. On the other hand, you are so responsible and mature that I sometimes forget that you are only 10. Either way, I am so proud of you. I love you so much and I love being your mom. Happy birthday!

Love,

Mom

Jingle Ball!

Dear Lila,

It's your birthday month!!! Most people are lucky enough to get one celebration on their actual birthday but because your birthday is so close to Christmas (and Mama never cheats you out of anything by combining Christmas festivities with your birthday ones), you often get several celebrations over the course of the month because your friends are busy during the holidays and we plan other days for you to meet up. This year, you are going to a pottery painting place with your BFF Riley, celebrating with your other friends Ally and Alina a week later at Nickelodeon Universe and then on your actual birthday, I am taking you into Manhattan to visit the Bryant Park Winter Village, New York Public Library (you love your books!) and various holiday decorations. We also have plans to take MuiMui back to Dream City and DiDi to the Liberty Science Center to see the train exhibit. So as if that wasn't already enough activity for the month, Daddy received free tickets to the famous Z100 Jingle Ball last night!!!!!! It is a huge annual concert at Madison Square Garden featuring major musicians and I've never even attempted to get tickets because they a) sell out so fast and b) are super expensive but someone Daddy works with got him tickets and because a) Daddy doesn't know half of the artists on the lineup and b) someone had to stay back with MuiMui, you and I ended up going with Ally and her mom--AND IT WAS AMAZING!!! We saw so many singers whose songs we rock out to at home: Ava Max, Charlie Puth, Lizzo, Dua Lipa and . . . BACKSTREET BOYS!!!!!!! Backstreet Boys!!! 

My inner 16-year-old self was fuh-reaking out when they came onstage yesterday and I totally sang, screamed and jumped harder than you, Ally and most of the tweens at the show, haha! Their set was so good and the whole concert was awesome and I am so glad we got to experience it together! We took the LIRR into the city, grabbed some sandwiches beforehand, ate the most delicious fries during the show, got free light-up antlers and Christmas ornament necklaces and sang and danced like crazy all night! But oh man, as cool as it was to see so many pop stars all at once, it was a looooooooong concert. It started at 7am and didn't end until midnight! By the time Dua Lipa came on at 11:30pm, you were wishing for your bed! I did make you get up and dance when she performed "Levitating," though, because that is one of our favorite songs!

There were so many incredible moments of the night but I think the one that will really stick with me is that when we were at home getting ready to leave, you asked me if you should bring your school iPad with you to the concert so that you could study for the math test you have on Monday! Oh Lila! Never change!

Love,

Mom

Biggerfoot

Dear Lila,

I have an extra pair of Bearpaw winter boots in size 7 so I gave one to you. You tried them on and they were too tight. I measured your feet and ordered a pair of size 8.5 women's boots from Old Navy and they fit you perfectly. Your feet are bigger than mine. Wha??? Oh no, so much for sharing shoes now!

Love,

Mom

The World Needs More Lilas

Dear Lila,

Last night, I was crazed as usual trying to finish a dozen different things on my to-do list. One of the things I had to do was put fresh linens on MuiMui's bed. I had already put on clean sheets (and you and MuiMui were sitting on them) but stopped mid-task to get a load of laundry out of the dryer. When I got back to MuiMui's room, you had put the pillowcase back on the Boppy pillow for me. As a busy mom, I can't tell you how much that meant to me, that you not only helped me but that you knew what I needed help with and helped without me even having to ask you to do it.

And then you impressed me further when you stayed up late to study long division. I'd taught you how to do it last year but it's obviously been awhile and you knew your teacher was going to be reviewing it at school today, so you asked me to give you a little refresher so you'd be better prepared for the lesson today. Come on! You are the best kid! I was actually texting my friends this week and telling them what a good sous chef you had been on Thanksgiving (you arranged the bread cubes on the baking sheets to be baked for the stuffing, helped cook the sausage and veggie mix for the stuffing, mixed the ingredients for the corn pudding and peeled three containers of Brussels sprouts) and my friend said she wished she had a Lila in her family. I responded that if all my kids were like you, we would have had ten more!

Love,

Mom

Schoolwork Slipup

Dear Lila,

You have always been a very conscientious student who makes sure to get her homework and assignments done, so I have never had to nag you about doing your schoolwork. Even when there wasn't much school during the first year of the pandemic and I assigned you kids 10 pages of workbook pages every day, you always made sure to finish your "Mama homework." So of course when you had summer homework this year, you finished it in July. Or so you thought. When you were gathering your assignments today to turn in tomorrow (it's already the first day of school tomorrow!), you realized that two pieces of paper had been stuck together and you had missed a whole page of assignments that you were supposed to do. And you got so upset. Like, came into my room sobbing and talking incomprehensibly upset. All I could discern at first was that you were saying something about your summer homework and I initially thought MuiMui had done something to it, like scribbled on it or cut it up with scissors. When you calmed down and told me you still had two more book reports to do, I said it was only noon and you had plenty of time to do them before tomorrow. And you hunkered down at your desk and got them done. I am so sorry you were so stressed but I am proud of how seriously you take your schoolwork. Thank you for always working so hard! 

Love,

Mom

My Awesome Girl

Dear Lila,

Your friend Ally lives across the street from us and you both went to the same summer camp this year, so you took the bus together every day. The stop was closer to her house so in the mornings, I would say bye to you from our porch and let you walk across the street by yourself to go to Ally's house and meet up with her before going to the bus stop with her and her mom. Ally's house is close enough that I can see the front door from our porch but it was still the first time I let you go somewhere kind of on your own. And I could tell you felt very grownup crossing the street by yourself!

You are growing up so fast but you have always been mature. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but I still marvel at how considerate and mindful you are for a kid. When we went to Kalahari last weekend, you were soooo good with watching MuiMui in the pools and on the waterslides when I asked you to. You never took your eyes off of her, even though I know you would have preferred to run off on your own and play. When the two of you went down one waterslide together, you had one arm around MuiMui and when you slid into the pool at the bottom, your head actually went under the water but you made sure to hold your sister up above the water. For you to have the wherewithal to hold your sister up even while you slipped under--I was so impressed!

At Kalahari, we also went to the arcade (omg, so many noises! so many flashing lights!) and you impressed me again when we took you kids to the prize store and let you decide how to spend the tickets you had won. You let DiDi spend more tickets so that he could get half a dozen army men figurines while you only kept enough tickets for yourself to buy just one unicorn figurine.

Then yesterday, I took you, DiDi and MuiMui out to dinner. At the end, the waiter brought out three complimentary chocolate chip cookies for you kids. DiDi and MuiMui eagerly grabbed their cookies while you, my sweet girl, picked up your cookie and immediately offered it to me. In fact, if there is a last piece of cake or some other treat, you always ask Daddy and me if we want some before you eat it. You have such a big heart and I am in such awe of you! I am truly blessed to have an amazing daughter like you. I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

Hair It Is

Dear Lila,

You have gorgeous, silky, jet-black hair that belongs in a shampoo commercial. I love how soft it feels and apparently you do, too. The other day, we were on a walk and I noticed you walking strangely, with your torso kind of bobbing from side to side as you walked forward. I asked you why you were walking like that and you said you like the way it feels when your ponytail swishes along your back. Haha!

Love,

Mom

Bigfoot

Dear Lila,

Your summer shoes from last year don't fit anymore, so I measured your foot to see what size you are now and your feet are the same size as mine. You are a size 7 now?! Waaaah?! How is it that I can now share my shoes with my 9-year-old??? You are getting too big too fast!

Love,

Mom

P.S. And to answer your question, no, you may not wear my high heels to school!

Eyeing It

Dear Lila,

Last night, I asked you to keep an eye on Mackenzie. Without missing a beat, you asked me, "Okay, but what do I do with my other eye?" Hahahaha! Lila's got jokes!

Love,

Mom

A Mug for Mom

Dear Lila,

I was putting laundry away in your room this morning when I noticed a drawing you made on top of your dresser. It was of a coffee mug and the front of the mug said, "I'm the best mom. (My kids say so.)" It was so sweet and made me smile. I am so so grateful for you. Thank you for loving me the way you do!

Love,

Mom