Adult Matters

Dear Lila,

As planned, we went to Dyker Heights tonight to see the over-the-top Christmas lights that the neighborhood is famous for. It was a fun night, plus it was relatively warm out and not crowded, so double score! The funniest highlight of the evening happened on the way home, though, when we were driving through Bensonhurst:

You, looking out the window: Mama! There's an adult toy store! We can go there and get toys for you!

Me: Ohhhhh, uh-huh.

You: We can fill up your whole room with adult toys!**

Daddy: [quietly chuckles in the driver's seat]

**You will understand why this was funny when you're older!

Love,

Mom

You're Nine Years Old!

Dear Lila,

Sometimes, our hot water tank doesn't work properly and there is no hot water when we turn on the shower. When this happens, whoever is trying to take a shower will call out to Daddy that there's no hot water and he will go to the basement and restart the heater. The other day, you had no hot water for your shower but you knew MuiMui was napping and didn't want to wake her, so you took a cold shower. In the middle of December. Because you are that thoughtful and selfless!

I am in continual awe of your kindness. And your loyalty. And your dedication. And your sense of responsibility. And your maturity. This list goes on and on! You are an amazing daughter, a wonderful sister and as of today, an awesome 9-year-old! Happy birthday, Lilabear!

I always try to make your birthdays as special as possible but finding something fun to do at the freezing cold end-of-December proves to be a yearly challenge. And finding something fun--and safe--to do during a raging global pandemic is an even bigger challenge. This year, we are going to take you to see the crazy Christmas lights displays in Dyker Heights (something cool we've never done, check; something we can do as a family, check; something that is outdoors where we can socially distance, check!) tomorrow night (it was supposed to rain today--but then it didn't) but you are such an easygoing kid and such a loving daughter that you said that you would be happy to just spend time with me at home!

I am so lucky to have you and wish I had more free time to just hang out with you. When I do have that rare afternoon when there's no laundry to do and I don't have to start cooking dinner, I love how excited you get to do something with me, whether it is playing with your Barbie dolls, playing a board game (Life is your favorite), baking a treat (you like to pour the ingredients in the bowl and mix them together) or reading on the couch while cuddled under a blanket. We also go out on occasional mother-daughter walks, which usually end in us getting tacos or bubble tea.

You are such a joy. You still devour books and get so excited about reading new ones. You still love to eat and it's always fun introducing you to new foods and cuisines you've never tried before. You love to sing and dance and we have regular dance parties to our newest obsession, BTS (their music is so good!). You are an amazing sister and take such good care of your siblings that Daddy and I call you "Second Mama" because you are always looking out for them, making sure they have what they need and also putting them into place if they are misbehaving. You love to create art and always make cute drawings for me. You constantly do things to make others happy. You always finish your homework without me having to nag you about it. You make your bed every morning and keep your room clean (which is hard because DiDi and MuiMui are constantly in there making messes with your toys). You help wash the dishes every night. You are understanding when things don't go your way. You make sure we never forget to do our goodnight routine. You are so affectionate and constantly give me hugs and kisses every day. 

I love everything about you and grow prouder of you every day. I love you so much, Lilabear! Happy birthday!

Love,

Mom

Psychic Power

Dear Lila,

I was joking around and said I could tell the future. You said, "No you can't! You're not figh-sick!" Hahaha! That's how you pronounced psychic!

Love,

Mom

Morning Walk

Dear Lila,

Daddy had to leave for a business trip yesterday, which meant that I had to take you and DiDi to school today. I don't drive and your school is 1.7 miles away from our house. It was 40 degrees this morning and we totally could have taken an Uber but I asked you and your brother to try walking to school and you guys were awesome! Not only did you not complain (even though your backpack was heavy with your books, lunchbox and a water bottle) but we made it to school 13 minutes before the doors opened, so you even had time to play on the playground for a little bit. I was worried that you might be too cold during the long walk (it took us exactly 37 minutes) but you actually complained about being hot and wanted to take off your hat and gloves. Thank you for being such a good sport!

Love,

Mom

Biking Buddies

Dear Lila,

I am so proud of your dedication and determination. You always work so hard at everything, even if it's really challenging. Yesterday, the two of us went biking together on the Forest Park bike trail. I have ridden it several times but yesterday was the first time I took you with me. There are a lot of steep hills on the trail and you are still relatively new to riding a two-wheeler, plus you have only ridden on flat sidewalks and school playgrounds. I expected that we would have to slow down a lot on the trail while you dismounted your bike and walked it up the big hills but you surprised me--we only had to stop once at the very end where there is a steep hill that even I have to push really hard to get up. Every time we got to a steep section, I looked back at you and you were pushing through it with such focus and determination. And every time we got to the top of the hill, you had such a proud smile on your face. I hope you could see my proud smile, too--you did such an amazing job on the trail and I am so excited that riding on it together is something we can do more of now!

Love,

Mom

Mature Matters

Dear Lila,

You are only 8 years old, which is crazy, because you are already so mature. For one, you are incredibly responsible for an 8-year-old. You always complete your homework and your chores without anyone ever having to remind you to complete them. You know the rules and routines and always follow them. You have spent hours watching MuiMui for me without ever complaining or taking your eyes off of her. When your brothers are doing something they are not supposed to, you call them on it or tell me if they don't stop. 

Second, your emotional intelligence is higher than many adults I have encountered. You are so perceptive of people's feelings and you always try to make others feel better. I happened to run into your pre-k teacher last week and she told me that whenever a kid in your class was crying about something, other kids would ignore or avoid the upset child but you always went over and tried to give the kid a toy or pat him/her on the arm. And you were just 3 years old back then! And you are just as thoughtful and considerate now, always asking if I'm okay or need help with anything. If I have had a rough day, you hug me and say you hope tomorrow will be better.

You have always acted so grown-up for your age and now you are doing so many grown-up things. You help wash the dishes every day. You pour milk for your brothers. You bring the dinner plates to the table. You pick up MuiMui and carry her around. You asked if you could spend your own money, so I gave you $30 from your piggy bank, took you to Target and let you buy whatever you wanted. You painstakingly looked through the book and toy sections before settling on two graphic novels for you and a board book for MuiMui's upcoming birthday. Later that day, we went to a coffee shop where you felt even more like an adult when you went up to the counter to order and pay for our drinks by yourself (you ordered a babyccino, a cappuccino sans coffee--how cute!). And today, I took you to a salon where you got your first "big girl" haircut--this was your first haircut in a salon that didn't have chairs shaped like airplanes and shelves full of toys for sale!

And now you're also asking to get your ear pierced! What happened to my baby Lilabear?!

Love,

Mom

First Day of Fourth Grade

Dear Lila,

The last time you stepped foot inside of a school building was March 13, 2020. You finished your second grade year from home. Then you completed your entire third grade year from home. That's not something any one of us could have envisioned two years ago and I was so sad about the experiences that you had missed but you actually really loved remote schooling. Learning from the comfort of your own bedroom was definitely a lot less rigorous and you enjoyed being able to spend time with your siblings and me in between Google Meets. So when we learned that there would be no remote option this year and that every kid would be back in the physical school building, you had mixed emotions. You were excited to see your friends every day but you were sad about not staying home. And you were also not psyched about waking up super early again. When your alarm went off at 6:35am this morning, you actually cried and said it was too early! And when we lined up outside of your school, you were visibly nervous and admitted that you had butterflies in your stomach.

After school, though, your demeanor was the complete opposite. You came home with a big smile on your face and said you had had a great first day. You told me about your teacher, where your seat was and new friends you made. You were so happy and talked excitedly the entire afternoon and evening about everything that had happened! To be honest, I am really nervous about you and your siblings being back in school (especially with the Delta variant and cases on the rise) but I am also really happy that you have some sense of normalcy again and that you are back with your teachers and classmates where you should be.

Also, you told me two things about today that made me really proud of you:

1) When you entered your classroom in the morning, you had to pick your seat. You saw your two best friends at a table all the way in the back of the classroom but you chose to sit at the front table so that you would be able to see the teacher better "without everyone's heads in the way."

2) Due to Covid protocols, only one kid at each table can eat a time. That rule makes sense because only one kid will have his/her mask off but that rule is also incredibly cruel because hello? That last kid has to watch all the other kids at the table eat one after another before he/she can! It's torture! You said you felt so bad for the girl who had to eat after you that you scarfed down your lunch quickly so that she could eat sooner. Thank you for always being so thoughtful!

Love,

Mom

Biker Girl

Dear Lila,

Today was a big day because you learned how to ride a two-wheel bike!!! No more training wheels for you! 

You were soooo nervous and scared when I told you that we were going to take the training wheels off of your bike but it was time to do it--and you rocked it! When we got to the playground, I initially held you up for a minute but as soon as I let go of the bike, you pedaled off all on your own! I know how worried you were about falling, so I am especially proud of how well you did!

Love,

Mom

A Lila-Mama Morning

Dear Lila,

One of the things that I am most grateful for is the fact that you still genuinely enjoy spending time with me. I know your teenage years when you will be busy with other teenage people doing teenage things aren't too far away so I try to soak in as much Lila-Mama Time as I can. Unfortunately, Lila-Mama Time is often hard to come by these days. Especially with all of you doing remote school and MuiMui in her clingy toddler stage, I am running around in all directions every day making sure that DiDi is working on his writing worksheets, you have the necessary objects for your STEM call, MuiMui's diaper is not full, GuhGaw is on time for his calls, etc. It seems as if there's always a load of wet laundry to put into the dryer, a meal to get ready, a spill to clean up. So many times, I think I have a chunk of time to play so I sit down to play Legos or Barbies with you but then I suddenly get pulled away because DiDi needs help with his math assignment or I didn't realize how late it is and I need to put MuiMui down for her nap. When that happens, you quietly frown and slump your shoulders in disappointment and my heart breaks.

I seemed to get pulled away from you a lot last week, so I planned a special Lila-Mama outing this morning. I haaaaaaate getting up early, especially on weekends, but I set my alarm for 7:05 this morning so that you and I could walk to the Sunday farmers' market in our neighborhood, visit the different vendors and have breakfast together in the park. When I told you about my plan the other day, you got so excited and hugged me so tightly! And when we were in the park this morning, sitting on a bench, eating our breakfast pastries and taking in the sunshine and the blossoming cherry trees, you rested your head on my shoulder and said contentedly, "I'm so glad we had this morning together."

Me, too, sweetheart! Me, too!

Love,

Mom