Mature Matters

Dear Lila,

You are only 8 years old, which is crazy, because you are already so mature. For one, you are incredibly responsible for an 8-year-old. You always complete your homework and your chores without anyone ever having to remind you to complete them. You know the rules and routines and always follow them. You have spent hours watching MuiMui for me without ever complaining or taking your eyes off of her. When your brothers are doing something they are not supposed to, you call them on it or tell me if they don't stop. 

Second, your emotional intelligence is higher than many adults I have encountered. You are so perceptive of people's feelings and you always try to make others feel better. I happened to run into your pre-k teacher last week and she told me that whenever a kid in your class was crying about something, other kids would ignore or avoid the upset child but you always went over and tried to give the kid a toy or pat him/her on the arm. And you were just 3 years old back then! And you are just as thoughtful and considerate now, always asking if I'm okay or need help with anything. If I have had a rough day, you hug me and say you hope tomorrow will be better.

You have always acted so grown-up for your age and now you are doing so many grown-up things. You help wash the dishes every day. You pour milk for your brothers. You bring the dinner plates to the table. You pick up MuiMui and carry her around. You asked if you could spend your own money, so I gave you $30 from your piggy bank, took you to Target and let you buy whatever you wanted. You painstakingly looked through the book and toy sections before settling on two graphic novels for you and a board book for MuiMui's upcoming birthday. Later that day, we went to a coffee shop where you felt even more like an adult when you went up to the counter to order and pay for our drinks by yourself (you ordered a babyccino, a cappuccino sans coffee--how cute!). And today, I took you to a salon where you got your first "big girl" haircut--this was your first haircut in a salon that didn't have chairs shaped like airplanes and shelves full of toys for sale!

And now you're also asking to get your ear pierced! What happened to my baby Lilabear?!

Love,

Mom

First Day of Fourth Grade

Dear Lila,

The last time you stepped foot inside of a school building was March 13, 2020. You finished your second grade year from home. Then you completed your entire third grade year from home. That's not something any one of us could have envisioned two years ago and I was so sad about the experiences that you had missed but you actually really loved remote schooling. Learning from the comfort of your own bedroom was definitely a lot less rigorous and you enjoyed being able to spend time with your siblings and me in between Google Meets. So when we learned that there would be no remote option this year and that every kid would be back in the physical school building, you had mixed emotions. You were excited to see your friends every day but you were sad about not staying home. And you were also not psyched about waking up super early again. When your alarm went off at 6:35am this morning, you actually cried and said it was too early! And when we lined up outside of your school, you were visibly nervous and admitted that you had butterflies in your stomach.

After school, though, your demeanor was the complete opposite. You came home with a big smile on your face and said you had had a great first day. You told me about your teacher, where your seat was and new friends you made. You were so happy and talked excitedly the entire afternoon and evening about everything that had happened! To be honest, I am really nervous about you and your siblings being back in school (especially with the Delta variant and cases on the rise) but I am also really happy that you have some sense of normalcy again and that you are back with your teachers and classmates where you should be.

Also, you told me two things about today that made me really proud of you:

1) When you entered your classroom in the morning, you had to pick your seat. You saw your two best friends at a table all the way in the back of the classroom but you chose to sit at the front table so that you would be able to see the teacher better "without everyone's heads in the way."

2) Due to Covid protocols, only one kid at each table can eat a time. That rule makes sense because only one kid will have his/her mask off but that rule is also incredibly cruel because hello? That last kid has to watch all the other kids at the table eat one after another before he/she can! It's torture! You said you felt so bad for the girl who had to eat after you that you scarfed down your lunch quickly so that she could eat sooner. Thank you for always being so thoughtful!

Love,

Mom

Biker Girl

Dear Lila,

Today was a big day because you learned how to ride a two-wheel bike!!! No more training wheels for you! 

You were soooo nervous and scared when I told you that we were going to take the training wheels off of your bike but it was time to do it--and you rocked it! When we got to the playground, I initially held you up for a minute but as soon as I let go of the bike, you pedaled off all on your own! I know how worried you were about falling, so I am especially proud of how well you did!

Love,

Mom

A Lila-Mama Morning

Dear Lila,

One of the things that I am most grateful for is the fact that you still genuinely enjoy spending time with me. I know your teenage years when you will be busy with other teenage people doing teenage things aren't too far away so I try to soak in as much Lila-Mama Time as I can. Unfortunately, Lila-Mama Time is often hard to come by these days. Especially with all of you doing remote school and MuiMui in her clingy toddler stage, I am running around in all directions every day making sure that DiDi is working on his writing worksheets, you have the necessary objects for your STEM call, MuiMui's diaper is not full, GuhGaw is on time for his calls, etc. It seems as if there's always a load of wet laundry to put into the dryer, a meal to get ready, a spill to clean up. So many times, I think I have a chunk of time to play so I sit down to play Legos or Barbies with you but then I suddenly get pulled away because DiDi needs help with his math assignment or I didn't realize how late it is and I need to put MuiMui down for her nap. When that happens, you quietly frown and slump your shoulders in disappointment and my heart breaks.

I seemed to get pulled away from you a lot last week, so I planned a special Lila-Mama outing this morning. I haaaaaaate getting up early, especially on weekends, but I set my alarm for 7:05 this morning so that you and I could walk to the Sunday farmers' market in our neighborhood, visit the different vendors and have breakfast together in the park. When I told you about my plan the other day, you got so excited and hugged me so tightly! And when we were in the park this morning, sitting on a bench, eating our breakfast pastries and taking in the sunshine and the blossoming cherry trees, you rested your head on my shoulder and said contentedly, "I'm so glad we had this morning together."

Me, too, sweetheart! Me, too!

Love,

Mom

You're Eight Years Old!

Dear Lila,

Last week, we went to see the holiday lights display at Jones Beach. You kids enjoyed seeing all of the festive lights but on the way home, MuiMui started getting restless in her car seat and began crying. I couldn't get her to calm down from the front seat so I gave you Daddy's phone and told you to play the video for "Slaughter Race" from the movie Wreck-It Ralph. It is the most random song but for whatever weird reason, MuiMui always stops fussing when she hears it. Unfortunately that night, the sound on Daddy's phone suddenly stopped working. MuiMui could see the video on the phone but she couldn't hear it. However, you, Super Sister, stepped in and started singing the song to her! And MuiMui immediately stopped crying. It was so sweet and touching and I was immensely proud of you!

When we couldn't get the video's sound to work, you just instantly started singing to calm your baby sister down. You didn't even think about it--you just did it. You turned eight years old today but you have shown more thoughtfulness, empathy and kindness in those eight years than many adults I have known. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I couldn't ask for a better daughter. You are always helpful, watching MuiMui in her room when I need to cook dinner, helping DiDi with his math homework or offering to fold laundry for me. You are always responsible, keeping track of your Google Meet calls for school, completing all of your assignments on your own and completing chores like brushing your teeth and clearing your dishes without me ever having to remind you. You are always creative, drawing interesting pictures for me all of the time, concocting detailed storylines for your Barbie dolls and building an elaborate Lego castle with dozens of rooms. You are always determined, like you were this year when you started learning how to ride a bike and it was often difficult for you (you'll be able to get on that two-wheeler soon!). You are always good-natured, which has been especially important this year when so many things changed so dramatically and we found ourselves isolated from all of our family and friends. And you are always eager for some Lila-Mama quality time, asking if we can read together and cuddle every night at bedtime.

When you were a baby/toddler, I loved spending time with you because you were so adorable. Now that you are (*gulp*) a big kid, I love spending time with you because you are so fun to spend time with! We talk about so many topics together--from crazy dreams we had to the latest Harry Potter book you're rereading (this year, you read and reread the entire series at least a dozen times)--and you are a really funny girl who makes me laugh all of the time. I love all of the things we do together--baking, taking walks around the neighborhood, playing Life, coloring Fancy Nancy pictures, watching Jane the Virgin and World of Dance, exercising on the treadmill and trampoline in the basement and definitely reading and cuddling at bedtime (and even if I'm too busy or it's too late to read, we still do our secret handshake at bedtime every single night!)

I love you so much, Lilabear! Happy 8th birthday!

Love,

Mom

Full of Thanks

Dear Lila,

Happy Thanksgiving! Turkey Day obviously looked a little different this year, as it was just the six of us and we ate "together" with PoiPoi over a WeChat call. But it was still a festive day with lots of deliciousness! I still made all of the traditional side dishes and desserts that we always have--because it just wouldn't feel right without them--and we feasted on barbeque chicken, sausage stuffing, Brussels sprouts casserole, stuffed mushrooms casserole, honey corn muffins, pumpkin pie and chocolate pudding pie. We all shared what we are thankful for and I loved your answer the most: You said you are thankful for all of the doctors and nurses! *melt* I am thankful that we are all healthy, happy and together. And I am also thankful for the funny things you say that make me laugh! Here's a gem from tonight:

You: Is Santa still bringing everyone presents this year?

Me: Of course he is.

You, after a brief pause: Is he going to get a Covid test first?"

A very valid question!

Love,

Mom

Meaty Exchange

Dear Lila,

You have always had a healthy appetite. If I let you eat an entire pizza, you probably could and would! As such, Daddy and I have to be more mindful of how much food we give you. At dinner tonight, Daddy absentmindedly gave you a huge portion of steak. When we all sat down at the table and I saw how much meat was on your plate, I told Daddy it was too much and asked him to take some off. He did and then you immediately started shoveling the remaining pieces of your meat into your mouth--you did so quickly before Daddy had a chance to take anymore steak! Hahaha! You and your love of food!

Love,

Mom